i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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