Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
