She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize