I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
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The chlamydia really affected his face.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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