you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize