she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
