Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
