I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
