I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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