Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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