Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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