We named our party play list daddy issues
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize