As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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