just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
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This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
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Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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