im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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