roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
the condom got lost in my hair
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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