I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
