just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
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She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
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Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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