We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
