How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
