Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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