we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
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Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
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Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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