i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
