My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
