I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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