is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I think your dad took our porno
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
