Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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