Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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