im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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