North Korea, Best Korea!
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
