Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I made him laugh his dick is mine
True college students do jello shots in the library
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