Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
it's like iHOP with fire
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
