Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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