my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
