My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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