if i died would you start the facebook group?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
