He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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