I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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