I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
