I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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