Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
