I like to think it a success when the cops are called
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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