Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Randomize
