It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
