Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
