I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
