i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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