I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
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I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
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MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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