Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
