On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
It's rum buckets o'clock
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
