my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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