We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
