what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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