You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize