i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
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I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
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You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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