I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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