You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
