So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
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He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
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I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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