Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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