The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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