He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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